Hey Beauty's,
This year I turned 20, over the past year I learnt so much about myself and realised so much about myself and my life. I wanted to share with you 19 life lessons I learnt when I was 19, I've experienced so much in my personal life throughout my life growing up, but more so over the past year. So much so that it's changed the way I see myself and how I want to live my life. Below is a list I've put together of the nineteen most valuable lessons I've learnt and that I thought could help some of you guys.
1. Love isn't important and being alone isn't the end of the world.
For so long I craved love and affection and the attention of a man, that I realised that not being in love isn't important and that life is all about living and sitting at home sad that I didn't have anyone that loved me, was the wrong way to look at life because I'm surrounded by family and friends that fill my life with the best love any young person needs.
2. Trust god always, he knows what his doing.
I'm not religious, but this past year I defiantly found god and I still stand by the fact I'm not religious. I don't tie myself to any one religion it doesn't mean that I don't believe in a god.
3. I'm stronger then I thought I was.
This kind of links into the above, this past year has been incredibly difficult for so many reasons but with the strength that I found, and the strength god has given me, I've got through it.
4. Everything happens for a reason.
Everything does happen for a reason, whether you know it now or not you will realise it at some point and be thankful that whatever it was, that it happened.
5. You have to love yourself before you let anyone else love you.
Kind of linking back to the first one, I craved someone else to love me for so long that when I really thought about it, how could I expect anyone to love me for me when I didn't even like myself. I was repulsed by the person who was in front of me when I looked in the mirror, that I knew that I couldn't hid it any longer and the thought of it killed me, so this year I made a change and I've been working on myself and learning to love myself, who I am.
6. Do what makes you happy.
I'm so concerned of what people will think of me that I never did anything that I wanted to because I was so scared of what people would think, that it made me so unhappy and I hated myself. Now I don't care, I'm doing what I love and I've never been more happy.
7. You can't please everyone.
As much as I hate ever admitting this, I in some ways, am a people pleaser. I hate these people so much that, when I thought about it that the realisation was that I am in fact am one too. I wouldn't do something if I knew someone wouldn't like it or agree with it, I never wanted to upset someone or hurt their feelings, that I'd spend half life tip toeing around everyone. That's no way to live your life, I realised that you will never please everyone and not everyone will agree with what your doing, so just do whatever you like and live your life your way.
8. Some people aren't meant to be in your life forever.
I leant this the hard way and maybe not this past year maybe a few years ago but only recently has it changed the way I looked at someone, I thought that it was because they didn't want to be my friend anymore. Until I really thought about it, I realised that some people come into our lives to serve a purpose and then they leave. they help you and once you don't need them anymore they leave. It's no ones fault and no ones to blame, they taught you something or helped you in a way no one else could.
9. Push yourself.
Always, always push yourself to be better, do better. Do something you thought you couldn't, always strive for more, no matter what it is.
10. You are capable of so many things.
When I started university my mum got me a key ring with this written on it, I looked at it everyday but I never really took it in, until recently. my parents always told me that I could do anything I wanted and I could be anyone I wanted to be. They supported every decision I've made, that this past year I realised just that, that I am capable of so many things, anything I want to do, anyone I want to be. I am capable of achieving it.
11. Don't be afraid to do anything.
Never be afraid to do anything, if you want to do something don't let anyone tell you, you can't. Also if it scares you, it can be a good things and even more reason to do it
12. I don't care what anyone else thinks.
My whole life I've been so bothered by what people think of me, that I was so unhappy and I never left my house or did anything. That's no way for anyone to live and I allowed these people to effect my life so much that I couldn't even leave my house. I realised that I was missing out on so much and I just got to a point that I couldn't take it anymore. I don't care what anyone thinks of me anymore and I'm so happy and I've done so much in the past year alone that I wont be letting anyone dictate my life ever again.
13. If you don't like something, change it.
I've mentioned this already but for so long I hated who I was and the person who looked back at me when I looked in a mirror, that I realised that if I don't like something, I can change it. This year I made it my mission to change the way I looked, I went for a size 6 to a size 14 in two years, I'm not saying that that's not a good thing but for me I hated it. I had gained so much weight, that I didn't even recognise myself. I felt huge and it made me really depressed, I decided to change that because it's something that I can and it only takes a bit of effort. This year I've worked out like crazy and I've worked so hard in the gym over the past 5/6 months that, I've been so much happier in myself and I've dropped the weight and I've gained all this new confidence. If there's something you don't like about yourself or your life, always remember that if you really want to you can change it.
14. It does get easier.
Whatever your going through right now and if your really hurting, know that with time it does get easier, it might not feel like it right now but you will get through it and it will become so much easier.
15. You will get over it.
For me, I was so in love with someone for so long that I never thought I'd ever get over it. However in the past year I've realised that I am in fact over it. I'm over him. For the first time in so long I feel free, it's such a good feeling knowing that the hold he had over me for so long is broken. I realised that if I ever wanted to someone to love me, I couldn't expect them to love me if I was constantly thinking of someone else. I met someone once who now is one of my closet friends but there was a time when I did really like him, however he said to me that 'I can't be with someone who's in love with someone else'. There's not a day where I don't think about that and only recently have I realised how right he was. However many years later I'm so glad that I'm over a guy who effected my life so much, of course he will always hold a special place in my heart and I will always love him but I'm not in love with him.
Trust me it takes time but you will get over whatever it is that your struggling with.
16. Good things come to those who wait but equally if you want something don't hesitate to go out and fight for it, if you sit and wait you might be too late.
This is so important to me, everyone always says good things come to those who wait and I thought that but I realised that I could spend half my life sat waiting for something to happened, that I could miss out on it. If I really want something as much as I think I do, then who's stopping me from going out there, fighting and working for it? No one but me, that's who.
17. Don't view every guy you meet as a potential boyfriend, view him as if he could be a potential friend first.
Some of the best dating advice I've ever received, could he be the kind of person you'd want to be friends with? if yes then there's no reason why you could progress it into a relationship, alternatively if not then you've gained another friend.
18. Don't regret anything you've done in the past because you can't change it, think of it as a learning experience.
I've made so mistakes in my life, but there's nothing that I've done that I've regretted. Sure if I could change it I maybe would but I can't, so why waste time regretting it when you could learn from it.
19. I am who I am and I'm not afraid to be who I am or who I want to be.
This is the best way to finish this list and kind of a round up of all the things above, I am who I am, this is my life and I'll live it how I want.
These are the most important life lessons I've learnt in the year before I turned 20, I hope that you take something from them and even apply them to your own life.
All my love
Carrie - Carries Closet xo
