Skincare: Proactiv Review

Hey Beautiful People,

For as long as I can remember I've suffered with countless different skin conditions. From the age of around three I suffered with severe Eczema on my body and more severally on my face. It meant that it looked like I constantly had food on my face, after years of appointments and trying different types of medications it completely cleared up.  

Then at the age of eleven I developed one of the most common conditions for any person my age, Acne. I've suffered with acne for so many years and although it's just a skin condition, one that so many teenagers around the world suffer with it; that anyone who doesn't or hasn't suffered with won't understand just how much it can effect you in everyday life. 






Acne, effected the way I lived my life growing up. I wouldn't let anyone see me without make-up, I'd wake up early to cover my face in a massive layer of foundation before leaving my room. I wouldn't let my parents or friends see just how bad it was, I was so self concious of the way my skin looked, any little comment about how 'bad' my make-up was, I'd end up thinking about it for weeks. 

Now aged nineteen, I'm relived that my acne has finally cleared up. Although after years of suffering it means that my skin is left with countless scars and blemishes. Over the years I've tried countless skincare products, I've tried countless medicines that my doctor prescribed, but nothing worked. 

I'd seen Proactiv advertised on the TV for years and just assumed like most people thought it was a fad and con. That was until I thought I'd give it ago, after all what did I have to lose? I started using it and surprisingly it actually work, not just that but it's amazing. I've used hundreds of skincare products in the past and I've never seen results as quick as I have since using Proactiv. 






I've only been using Proactiv for around three maybe four months, but I can't tell you how much I love it. Although a little pricey, it's completely worth every penny. The scaring is starting to clear up, the last bit of acne that I had left has cleared up and any breakouts I get are gone in a couple of days. 

You get a set of three products for around £20. First you use the Skin Smoothing Exfoliator, then you use the Pore Targeting Treatment, lastly you use the Complexion Perfecting Hydrator; you use these twice a day everyday. Recently I've got the Skin Purifying Mask, you use this around two to three times a week. 





The skin smoothing exfoliator is a facial cleanser, you use a coin sized amount and leave on for around 2 minutes ( I use it whilst in the shower every morning, that way I don't forget to use it.) The pore targeting treatment is a facial cream, you use a pearl sized amount and apply to clean dry skin, with this you rub into the skin and leave to fully absorbed, before carrying on with step 3. Lastly you use the complexion perfecting hydrator this is a facial Moisturiser, you only need a tiny amount and again you rub into the skin till fully absorb. 








The skin purifying mask is a facial mask that again I use in the shower two times a week, so that I don't forget. You use a small amount, leave on the skin for 10 minutes and then wash of with warm water. 

I would totally recommend these products, there one of the only skincare products that really work. No matter whether you've suffered from various skin conditions or just looking to keep you skin looking healthy, then I'd defiantly suggest trying Proactiv. 

If you would like to purchase any of the Proactiv products or find out more the link to their website is here. Thank you for reading, it feels good to be back; expect new posts twice a week (every Thursday and Sunday). Don't forget to check out all my social media, 

All my love 

Carries Closet xo 

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Dear Mum.

Hey Beautiful People, 

This week as it's Mothers day, I've decided to dedicate this post to my mum. I want to share with you the journey that we've had together, some of the things we've done together but mostly to tell her the things I find so hard to share with her - so this ones for you mum. 

Dear Mum, 

There have been so many things we've been through and so many things I've wanted to say to you, I've just never known how. I'm hoping by writing this your see just how thankful I am for everything you do, have done and continue to do for me. 

For so long growing up you hid who you really was, you hid your sexuality for so long that I can only imagine how that felt and how hard that was for you. You lived a life that was a lie for so long, that it wasn't till I was little that somehow you found the courage and strength to finally be who you've always wanted to be and who you always knew you was. We've never truly spoken about this but I want you to know that because of this I've never been more proud of you and I've never loved you more then I did then, looking back at this time in yours and our lives, I don't really remember this part in our lives very clearly but on the things that I do remember, I want you to know that I don't ever blame your for the divorce, I feel that at times I became the 'devil child' a lot but I think it was because I didn't really understand what was going on and how to cope with it at the time. Now that I've grown up and I've learned so much about life, I understand it and my actions at the time a lot more and I now want to apologise for them. 

You always encouraged me to be who I was and to never be afraid of who I really am and I think that's because you did for so long, and for this lesson I thank you so much - for so long and at different stages in my life I was afraid to be who I am and I hid so much from you and so many people, but I look back at you and everything you've been through and know that if you can get through it and find strength to do so, then I can too. 

I also want to say, whatever it was that gave you the courage and the strength to finally be who you really was I want to thank them/it, because it gave you another chance at life; for you to finally find happiness, I always look back at the times we've shared and the things we've done or been through and see how happy you've been. I wonder how different things might have been if you never took that step to true self happiness and worry that if you hadn't you would never be happy because all I want for you is to be happy, to be loved and to enjoy life - things that I know you have done, since coming out. 

I want to thank you for the everything that you do and have done for me over the past 18 years, we've never be extremely close but you always know/knew what to do to cheer me up when I'm feeling sad or I've had a bad day or when I'm not well and I guess that's what happens when you become a mum but I've never told you how much I truly appreciate it. Your stupid dancing, your rubbish jokes, you cooking my favourite food and your mummy hugs that I crave so much right now - I never told you how much I love them and these things and how much I appreciate them, but I hope that you now know just how much I do; when I tell you to stop doing stupid dances or telling awful not funny jokes, I don't always mean it, I sometimes even secretly love them all. 

I also want to thank you for everything else that you've done for me, you never let me go without, anything that I've wanted you've always tried so hard to get for me and I am truly grateful for. You worked so hard growing up, staying at work late, working weekends, working night shifts; sometimes I do feel that maybe this is something that affected our relationship and maybe it does have a part to play in why we've never been really close but I don't hate it because it meant that you could always provide for me and gave us a home. I also don't hate it because it was a job that you love so much and one I know broke your heart when you had to leave, because I could see it in your eyes how much it hurt you. It's a job that has made me so proud of you, your my mum but I shared you with so many amazing children that never had a mum and for that I don't mind sharing you at all- because at the end of the day you always came home to me. 

Something I've wanted to thank you for, for so long now is for what you did for me nearly two years ago. I was going through such a hard time and I've never really spoken to you or anyone about but, as I'm getting older now, I'm seeing how important it is to speak out and openly about it. But I want to say the biggest thank you to you for the love you gave me throughout this time, it was exceptionally hard for the both of us I know and one day I will open up to you and to everyone else readings this eventually about but to you mum, I will forever thank you for the help and the strength you gave me in the darkest time in my life, I'll never be able to repay you but I want you to know that, I understand how hard that summer was for the both us and how hard it was for you as a mother to watch me go through that, that at that time I hated everything and everyone so much; I'm so sorry I put you through that but I love you so much more for giving me hope and strength when I thought I'd lost everything. 

When I fell in love for the first time, I lost myself in some else, I lost everything about myself. I lost who I was as a person, everything I wanted to be and everything I stood for. I had no one else to turn to because it was a love that no one my age understood and somehow I found what I was looking for, I found the answer I so desperately needed at the time in you. You was the only person who truly witnessed my first love and for so long you let me live it, maybe because you knew that it was something I had to go through, in order to learn an important lesson. You saw the rawness and the realness of such a difficult love in such young people for so long, you saw the pain that I was in, you never said a word about it for such a long time that when you did, it changed everything for me, I finally saw what you did. You kept quiet for so long and only spoke up when you knew that I couldn't put up with it any more and that's what I want to thank you for, for giving me the chance to make my own mistakes because eventually I'd learn from them, you aloud me to grow as a person and picked me up when I truly knew and needed you; so thank you so much for that. 

I want to thank you for all the things you've taught me over the years, silently you've taught me so much that I know now thanks to you and you don't even realise just how much you've done for me. Your a mum, I know we all think that because of that, these lessons and the love is something you have to do but I think we know so much more about families and life that we know that really don't have to, you do it because you want to- for that I want to thank you, you didn't have to love me and you didn't have to stand by me through all the mistakes I've made but you have and I'm forever grateful for that. 

I know I haven't always been easy on you and I'm so sorry for that, I want you to know that, that is one of my biggest mistakes I've made. I know that I haven't always been the nicest either and I'm so so so sorry for that but I think all the mistakes I have made, have been a huge lesson for me. 

You inspire me in so many different ways, you inspire my heart and if I can ever love the way you do, I'll forever be happy. You inspire me to live my life to the fullest, you've shown me and taught me so much about the world and the people we share it with that I want to see it and experience it for myself someday. You inspire me to be happy everyday, to wake up and be grateful that I'm here because so many aren't, to appreciate life and love it. You inspire me to want a family as, difficult, experience in every aspect of life, to love each other as much as we do; you inspire me to be a mother one day and to be one as amazing, beautiful and cleaver as you. 

Lastly I want to say thank you, I'm sorry, I love you and I miss you. 

I love you forever and always, 

Your Carrie 

xxxxxxx
xxxxx
xxx
xx
x 



Happy Mothers Day to all the beautiful amazing mums out their, tell your mum how much you love them, thank them for everything they've done for you and will continue to do for you. 

All my love 

Carries Closet xo 

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Last First Love.

Hey beautiful people, 

So not just over the past few months but coming up to a year now I've been moving on from the first love of my life. This is something all of us one day have to do and it's not easy, nor is a just a first love - it's a bumpy ride but one that changes and shapes us for our next. 

My first love is one that taught me so much, it's one I'll never forget and one I don't ever want to experience again; so here is the story to my last first love... 

I met him around 8 years ago now during my first year of high school; we were in some of the same classes and for a year we developed a close friendship. Then we developed stronger feelings for each other but it wasn't like the movies that we all love, it was rocky, emotionally and mentally draining at times- it was difficult. I'm not going to go into specifics but it was a relationship that I wouldn't wish on anyone, it destroyed me. He tore me apart and ruined everything that I stood for and slowly I became a girl that I had always said I didn't want to be. I became the girl that let a guy walk all over me, I worshipped the ground he walked on and I was completely and utterly in love with him - so much so that it took me seven years to realise what he had done to me.  

So for seven years we were on and off and on and off again with each other, it was like a constant cycle that I slowly started to find myself trapped in. It was like he was all I could see and all that I wanted, I was willing to do everything and anything to make this 'relationship' work. For a period of time I felt like I was his dirty little secrete, he didn't want anyone to know about us, so we wasn't aloud to tell anyone. In those times it was even harder, I couldn't go to my best friend openly talk to her about it and growing up that was such a hard thing to keep to myself, there are countless times when I almost slipped up. In the times that I was in fact his dirty little secrete, I hated as anyone would and as you could only imagine, those were the toughest of times - it made me feel like he was embarrassed of me and that there were things about me that he didn't like, growing up and becoming a teenager that really affected me in everything that I did; it made me expectationally insecure and something I'm only just getting over. 

The other thing that really had an effect on me was the fact that he'd say things that weren't nice at all but he'd pass them of as just a 'joke' only to me they weren't funny, that just added to my insecurities and only confirmed everything that I was thinking in my head; that he didn't like me, that I wasn't good enough, that no matter what I did - I never would be good enough. Although this was happening I still was completely in love with him, I couldn't help it, it was like he was my drug and I was addicted to every part of him and everything he said or did to me. 

During the last 'on' period of our 'relationship' there's a day and a conversation that I had with my mum that I'll never forget, she's the only person that really witnessed our relationship, the thing she said to me that sticks in my mind every time I think of us, was that she said:

 "Is he really worth it, he comes over once and then we never see him again for a while. Why do you bother with him? He seems a waste of time." 

All I did was laugh, shrug it off and say: 

"Yeah, you don't understand." 

Only looking back I see that she's my mum, she knew and she understood. The other time I'll never forget is the day I realised that he didn't love me any more, we were stood in my living room, he was about to leave, he gave me a hug and I looked up at him and looking back on it I now see it but at the time I didn't have a clue or I did, I just chose to not see it. I saw in his eyes that when he looked at me they weren't the same as when I looked at him, there wasn't love not the same kind anyway; I now know that I don't think he ever loved me and for that I feel so stupid. 

Realising that he didn't love me didn't happen straight away, when I look back on that day it wasn't the last time I ever spoke to him, that day happened and like I said I didn't see it at first, we continued our cycle for another two or three years before I woke up and realised it, it was like it hit me, I thought back to that day, and then I saw it... 

I've moved away from home, I've deleted his number and I haven't seen him in months, moving on hasn't been easy there are days when all I want to do is speak to him, tell him what I've been doing, or I'll see something that I know he'll find funny or I'll see his favourite film on on the tv, I'll just think of him but that's life, those things are going to happen, it won't be easy and it won't happen over night but I promise that it does get easier; the pain and the hurting won't hurt so bad, it'll still be there and it will hurt but it'll be the kind of pain that you can live with, it won't affect you like it did at first. 

I know that I'll always love him, he was my first love, something I'll never forget but I know that I'm ready, I'm finally ready for love again whenever it happens and I finally feel like I've got control back. He'll always have a place in my heart but I never want to experience a love like that again and I wouldn't want anyone else to either. 

For seven years he was my world and now he'll my last first love. 

All my love 

Carries Closet xo 

P.S - Comment and tweet me, tell me what your first love was like. 

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The Start To An Open & Honest Future.

Hey all you beautiful people, 

I hope your all still out there, I first want to start of by saying how sorry I am that the last time I posted was on the 10th August. But I want you to know that in my absence I've been doing something amazing and that I've started a new journey in my life; very much like almost two years ago when I took sometime out of blogging. 

I finally feel like I'm ready to share with you what it is that I've been doing that's kept me away from you all for so long now, I promised myself that I was going to be more open and honest with you this year - one of the last posts that I wrote I shared with you who 'CarriesClosetxo' was and that I hoped one day to share with you who 'Carrie' as a person was, this year I plan to do that. 

In the months that I've been away I've experienced things that I hadn't since my parents got divorced, the emotions and the feelings. I think I'm starting to become a bit of an expert when it comes to broken families, so I want to share with you all and let you all know that what your feeling and what your going through, that unfortunately your not alone and now days it seems so many of us are becoming children of parents that have forgotten the true meaning of love and why they fell in love in the first place - it seems that no one's willing to fight any more. 

Also your find that no matter how old you get and even if your now seen as an adult in the eyes of the law your parents will still continue to sugar coat things just like when your a kid. In the coming weeks I'm going to share with you everything I've learned in the past months, I'll go in to detail with my own life and share with you my tried and tested tips to remaining sane in a situation around you that feels completely insane. 

Again I'm so sorry that I've left you waiting all this time to hear from me, I promise your hear from me soon. 

All my love 

Carries Closet xo 

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